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Executive Director's Notes: In addition to the notes below,superhero figures for birthday and so you will *NOT* think allthe spelling errors introduced by the printers of the time havebeen corrected, here are the first few lines of Hamlet, as theyare presented herein: Barnardo. Who's there? Bar. Long liue the King ***As I understand it, the printers often ran out of certain wordsor letters they had often packed into a "cliche". . .this is theoriginal meaning of the term cliche. . .and thus, being unwillingto unpack the cliches, and thus you will see some substitutionsthat look very odd. . .such as the exchanges of u for v, v for u,above. . .and you may wonder why they did it this way, presumingShakespeare did not actually write the play in this manner. . . . The answer is that they MAY have packed "liue" into a cliche at atime when they were out of "v"'s. . .possibly having used "vv" inplace of some "w"'s, etc. This was a common practice of the day,as print was still quite expensive, and they didn't want to spendmore on a wider selection of characters than they had to. You will find a lot of these kinds of "errors" in this text, as Ihave mentioned in other times and places, many "scholars" have anextreme attachment to these errors, and many have accorded them avery high place in the "canon" of Shakespeare. My father read anassortment of these made available to him by Cambridge Universityin England for several months in a glass room constructed for thepurpose. To the best of my knowledge he read ALL those available. . .in great detail. . .and determined from the various changes,that Shakespeare most likely did not write in nearly as many of avariety of errors we credit him for, even though he was in/famousfor signing his name with several different spellings. So, please take this into account when reading the comments belowmade by our volunteer who prepared this file: you may see errorsthat are "not" errors. . . . So. . .with this caveat. . .we have NOT changed the canon errors,here is the Project Gutenberg Etext of Shakespeare's The firstPart of Henry the Sixt. Michael S. Hart Scanner's Notes: What this is and isn't. This was taken froma copy of Shakespeare's first folio and it is as close as I cancome in ASCII to the printed text. The elongated S's have been changed to small s's and theconjoined ae have been changed to ae. I have left the spelling,punctuation, capitalization as close as possible to theprinted text. I have corrected some spelling mistakes (I have puttogether a spelling dictionary devised from the spellings of theGeneva Bible and Shakespeare's First Folio and have unifiedspellings according to this template), typo's and expandedabbreviations as I have come across them. Everything withinbrackets [] is what I have added. So if you don't like thatyou can delete everything within the brackets if you want apurer Shakespeare. Another thing that you should be aware of is that there are textualdifferences between various copies of the first folio. So there maybe differences (other than what I have mentioned above) betweenthis and other first folio editions. This is due to the printer'shabit of setting the type and running off a number of copies andthen proofing the printed copy and correcting the type and thencontinuing the printing run. The proof run wasn't thrown away butincorporated into the printed copies. This is just the way it is.The text I have used was a composite of more than 30 differentFirst Folio editions' best pages. David Reed ====================================================================== The First Part of Henry the Fourth with the Life and Death of Henry Sirnamed Hot-Spvrre Actus Primus. Scoena Prima. Enter the King, Lord Iohn of Lancaster, Earle of Westmerland,withothers. King. So shaken as we are, so wan with care, West. My Liege: This haste was hot in question, King. It seemes then, that the tidings of this broile, West. This matcht with other like, my gracious Lord, King. Heere is a deere and true industrious friend, West. A Conquest for a Prince to boast of King. Yea, there thou mak'st me sad, & mak'st me sin, West. This is his Vnckles teaching. This is Worcester King. But I haue sent for him to answer this: West. I will my Liege. Exeunt. Scaena Secunda. Enter Henry Prince of Wales, Sir Iohn Falstaffe, and Pointz. Fal. Now Hal, what time of day is it Lad? Prince. Thou art so fat-witted with drinking of oldeSacke, and vnbuttoning thee after Supper, and sleepingvpon Benches in the afternoone, that thou hast forgottento demand that truely, which thou wouldest truly know.What a diuell hast thou to do with the time of the day?vnlesse houres were cups of Sacke, and minutes Capons,and clockes the tongues of Bawdes, and dialls the signesof Leaping-houses, and the blessed Sunne himselfe a fairehot Wench in Flame-coloured Taffata; I see no reason,why thou shouldest bee so superfluous, to demaund thetime of the day Fal. Indeed you come neere me now Hal, for we thattake Purses, go by the Moone and seuen Starres, and notby Phoebus hee, that wand'ring Knight so faire. And Iprythee sweet Wagge, when thou art King, as God sauethy Grace, Maiesty I should say, for Grace thou wiltehaue none Prin. What, none? Prin. Well, how then? Come roundly, roundly Fal. Marry then, sweet Wagge, when thou art King,let not vs that are Squires of the Nights bodie, bee call'dTheeues of the Dayes beautie. Let vs be Dianaes Forresters,Gentlemen of the Shade, Minions of the Moone;and let men say, we be men of good Gouernment, beinggouerned as the Sea, by our noble and chast mistris theMoone, vnder whose countenance we steale Prin. Thou say'st well, and it holds well too: for thefortune of vs that are the Moones men, doeth ebbe andflow like the Sea, beeing gouerned as the Sea is, by theMoone: as for proofe. Now a Purse of Gold most resolutelysnatch'd on Monday night, and most dissolutelyspent on Tuesday Morning; got with swearing, Lay by:and spent with crying, Bring in: now, in as low an ebbeas the foot of the Ladder, and by and by in as high a flowas the ridge of the Gallowes Fal. Thou say'st true Lad: and is not my Hostesse ofthe Tauerne a most sweet Wench? Prin. As is the hony, my old Lad of the Castle: and isnot a Buffe Ierkin a most sweet robe of durance? Fal. How now? how now mad Wagge? What in thyquips and thy quiddities? What a plague haue I to doewith a Buffe-Ierkin? Prin. Why, what a poxe haue I to doe with my Hostesseof the Tauerne? Fal. Well, thou hast call'd her to a reck'ning many atime and oft Prin. Did I euer call for thee to pay thy part? Prin. Yea and elsewhere, so farre as my Coine would Fal. Yea, and so vs'd it, that were it heere apparant,that thou art Heire apparant. But I prythee sweet Wag,shall there be Gallowes standing in England when thouart King? and resolution thus fobb'd as it is, with the rustiecurbe of old Father Anticke the Law? Doe not thouwhen thou art a King, hang a Theefe Prin. No, thou shalt Fal. Shall I? O rare! Ile be a braue Iudge Prin. Thou iudgest false already. I meane, thou shalthaue the hanging of the Theeues, and so become a rareHangman Fal. Well Hal, well: and in some sort it iumpes withmy humour, as well as waiting in the Court, I can tellyou Prin. For obtaining of suites? Prin. Or an old Lyon, or a Louers Lute Fal. Yea, or the Drone of a Lincolnshire Bagpipe Prin. What say'st thou to a Hare, or the Melanchollyof Moore Ditch? Fal. Thou hast the most vnsauoury smiles, and art indeedthe most comparatiue rascallest sweet yong Prince.But Hal, I prythee trouble me no more with vanity, I woldthou and I knew, where a Commodity of good nameswere to be bought: an olde Lord of the Councell ratedme the other day in the street about you sir; but I mark'dhim not, and yet hee talk'd very wisely, but I regardedhim not, and yet he talkt wisely, and in the street too Prin. Thou didst well: for no man regards it Fal. O, thou hast damnable iteration, and art indeedeable to corrupt a Saint. Thou hast done much harme vntome Hall, God forgiue thee for it. Before I knew theeHal, I knew nothing: and now I am (if a man shold speaketruly) little better then one of the wicked. I must giue ouerthis life, and I will giue it ouer: and I do not, I am aVillaine. Ile be damn'd for neuer a Kings sonne in Christendome Prin. Where shall we take a purse to morrow, Iacke? Prin. I see a good amendment of life in thee: From Fal. Why, Hal, 'tis my Vocation Hal: 'Tis no sin for a Pointz. Now shall wee know if Gads hill haue set a Prin. Good morrow Ned Poines. Good morrow sweet Hal. What saies Monsieurremorse? What sayes Sir Iohn Sacke and Sugar:Iacke? How agrees the Diuell and thee about thy Soule,that thou soldest him on Good-Friday last, for a Cup ofMadera, and a cold Capons legge? Prin. Sir Iohn stands to his word, the diuel shall hauehis bargaine, for he was neuer yet a Breaker of Prouerbs:He will giue the diuell his due Poin. Then art thou damn'd for keeping thy word withthe diuell Prin. Else he had damn'd cozening the diuell Poy. But my Lads, my Lads, to morrow morning, byfoure a clocke early at Gads hill, there are Pilgrimes goingto Canterbury with rich Offerings, and Traders ridingto London with fat Purses. I haue vizards for youall; you haue horses for your selues: Gads-hill lyes tonight in Rochester, I haue bespoke Supper to morrow inEastcheape; we may doe it as secure as sleepe: if you willgo, I will stuffe your Purses full of Crownes: if you willnot, tarry at home and be hang'd Fal. Heare ye Yedward, if I tarry at home and go not, Poy. You will chops Fal. Hal, wilt thou make one? Fal. There's neither honesty, manhood, nor good fellowshipin thee, nor thou cam'st not of the blood-royall,if thou dar'st not stand for ten shillings Prin. Well then, once in my dayes Ile be a mad-cap Fal. Why, that's well said Prin. Well, come what will, Ile tarry at home Fal. Ile be a Traitor then, when thou art King Prin. I care not Poyn. Sir Iohn, I prythee leaue the Prince & me alone,I will lay him downe such reasons for this aduenture, thathe shall go Fal. Well, maist thou haue the Spirit of perswasion;and he the eares of profiting, that what thou speakest,may moue; and what he heares may be beleeued, that thetrue Prince, may (for recreation sake) proue a false theefe;for the poore abuses of the time, want countenance. Farwell,you shall finde me in Eastcheape Prin. Farwell the latter Spring. Farewell Alhollown Poy. Now, my good sweet Hony Lord, ride with vsto morrow. I haue a iest to execute, that I cannot mannagealone. Falstaffe, Haruey, Rossill, and Gads-hill, shallrobbe those men that wee haue already way-layde, yourselfe and I, wil not be there: and when they haue the booty,if you and I do not rob them, cut this head from myshoulders Prin. But how shal we part with them in setting forth? Poyn. Why, we wil set forth before or after them, andappoint them a place of meeting, wherin it is at our pleasureto faile; and then will they aduenture vppon the exploitthemselues, which they shall haue no sooner atchieued,but wee'l set vpon them Prin. I, but tis like that they will know vs by ourhorses, by our habits, and by euery other appointment tobe our selues Poy. Tut our horses they shall not see, Ile tye them inthe wood, our vizards wee will change after wee leauethem: and sirrah, I haue Cases of Buckram for the nonce,to immaske our noted outward garments Prin. But I doubt they will be too hard for vs Poin. Well, for two of them, I know them to bee astrue bred Cowards as euer turn'd backe: and for the thirdif he fight longer then he sees reason, Ile forswear Armes.The vertue of this Iest will be, the incomprehensible lyesthat this fat Rogue will tell vs, when we meete at Supper:how thirty at least he fought with, what Wardes, whatblowes, what extremities he endured; and in the reproofeof this, lyes the iest Prin. Well, Ile goe with thee, prouide vs all thingsnecessary, and meete me to morrow night in Eastcheape,there Ile sup. Farewell Poyn. Farewell, my Lord. Exit Pointz Prin. I know you all, and will a-while vphold Scoena Tertia. Enter the King, Northumberland, Worcester, Hotspurre, Sir WalterBlunt,and others. King. My blood hath beene too cold and temperate, Wor. Our house (my Soueraigne Liege) little deserues Nor. My Lord King. Worcester get thee gone: for I do see North. Yea, my good Lord. Hot. My Liege, I did deny no Prisoners. Blunt. The circumstance considered, good my Lord, King. Why yet doth deny his Prisoners, Hot. Reuolted Mortimer? King. Thou do'st bely him Percy, thou dost bely him; Exit King. Hot. And if the diuell come and roare for them Nor. What? drunke with choller? stay & pause awhile, Hot. Speake of Mortimer? Nor. Brother, the King hath made your Nephew mad Wor. I cannot blame him: was he not proclaim'd Wor. And for whose death, we in the worlds wide mouth Hot. But soft I pray you; did King Richard then Hot. Nay then I cannot blame his Cousin King, Hot. If he fall in, good night, or sinke or swimme: Nor. Imagination of some great exploit, Hot. By heauen, me thinkes it were an easie leap, Wor. He apprehends a World of Figures here, Hot. I cry you mercy Wor. Those same Noble Scottes Hot. Ile keepe them all. Wor. You start away, Hot. Nay, I will: that's flat: Wor. Heare you Cousin: a word Hot. All studies heere I solemnly defie, Wor. Farewell Kinsman: Ile talke to you Nor. Why what a Waspe-tongu'd & impatient foole Nor. At Barkley Castle Hot. You say true: Wor. Nay, if you haue not, too't againe, Hot. I haue done insooth Wor. Then once more to your Scottish Prisoners. Hot. Of Yorke, is't not? Hot. I smell it: Nor. Before the game's a-foot, thou still let'st slip Hot. Why, it cannot choose but be a Noble plot, Wor. And so they shall Hot. Infaith it is exceedingly well aym'd Wor. And 'tis no little reason bids vs speed, Hot. He does, he does; wee'l be reueng'd on him Wor. Cousin, farewell. No further go in this, Nor. Farewell good Brother, we shall thriue, I trust Hot. Vncle, adieu: O let the houres be short, Exit Actus Secundus. Scena Prima. Enter a Carrier with a Lanterne in his hand. 1.Car. Heigh-ho, an't be not foure by the day, Ile be 1.Car. I prethee Tom, beate Cuts Saddle, put a few 2.Car. Pease and Beanes are as danke here as a Dog,and this is the next way to giue poore Iades the Bottes:This house is turned vpside downe since Robin the Ostlerdyed 1.Car. Poore fellow neuer ioy'd since the price of oats 2.Car. I thinke this is the most villanous house in al 1.Car. Like a Tench? There is ne're a King in Christendome,could be better bit, then I haue beene since thefirst Cocke 2.Car. Why, you will allow vs ne're a Iourden, andthen we leake in your Chimney: and your Chamber-lyebreeds Fleas like a Loach 1.Car. What Ostler, come away, and be hangd: come 2.Car. I haue a Gammon of Bacon, and two razes of 1.Car. The Turkies in my Pannier are quite starued.What Ostler? A plague on thee, hast thou neuer an eye inthy head? Can'st not heare? And t'were not as good adeed as drinke, to break the pate of thee, I am a very Villaine.Come and be hang'd, hast no faith in thee?Enter Gads-hill. Gad. Good-morrow Carriers. What's a clocke? Gad. I prethee lend me thy Lanthorne to see my Gelding 1.Car. Nay soft I pray ye, I know a trick worth two Gad. I prethee lend me thine 2.Car. I, when, canst tell? Lend mee thy Lanthorne(quoth-a) marry Ile see thee hang'd first Gad. Sirra Carrier: What time do you mean to cometo London? 2.Car. Time enough to goe to bed with a Candle, Iwarrant thee. Come neighbour Mugges, wee'll call vpthe Gentlemen, they will along with company, for theyhaue great charge. Exeunt. Enter Chamberlaine. Gad. What ho, Chamberlaine? Gad. That's euen as faire, as at hand quoth the Chamberlaine:For thou variest no more from picking of Purses,then giuing direction, doth from labouring. Thoulay'st the plot, how Cham. Good morrow Master Gads-Hill, it holds currantthat I told you yesternight. There's a Franklin in thewilde of Kent, hath brought three hundred Markes withhim in Gold: I heard him tell it to one of his company lastnight at Supper; a kinde of Auditor, one that hath abundanceof charge too (God knowes what) they are vp already,and call for Egges and Butter. They will awaypresently Gad. Sirra, if they meete not with S[aint]. Nicholas Clarks, Cham. No, Ile none of it: I prythee keep that for theHangman, for I know thou worshipst S[aint]. Nicholas as trulyas a man of falshood may Gad. What talkest thou to me of the Hangman? If Ihang, Ile make a fat payre of Gallowes. For, if I hang,old Sir Iohn hangs with mee, and thou know'st hee's noStarueling. Tut, there are other Troians that y dream'stnot of, the which (for sport sake) are content to doe theProfession some grace; that would (if matters should beelook'd into) for their owne Credit sake, make all Whole.I am ioyned with no Foot-land-Rakers, No Long-staffesix-penny strikers, none of these madMustachio-purple-hu'd-Maltwormes,but with Nobility, and Tranquilitie;Bourgomasters, and great Oneyers, such as can holde in,such as will strike sooner then speake; and speake soonerthen drinke, and drinke sooner then pray: and yet I lye,for they pray continually vnto their Saint the Commonwealth;or rather, not to pray to her, but prey on her: forthey ride vp & downe on her, and make hir their Boots Cham. What, the Commonwealth their Bootes? Willshe hold out water in foule way? Gad. She will, she will; Iustice hath liquor'd her. Westeale as in a Castle, cocksure: we haue the receit of Fernseede,we walke inuisible Cham. Nay, I thinke rather, you are more beholding Gad. Giue me thy hand. Cham. Nay, rather let mee haue it, as you are a false Gad. Goe too: Homo is a common name to all men.Bid the Ostler bring the Gelding out of the stable. Farewell,ye muddy Knaue. Exeunt. Scaena Secunda. Enter Prince, Poynes, and Peto. Poines. Come shelter, shelter, I haue remoued Falstafs Prin. Stand close. Fal. Poines, Poines, and be hang'd Poines Prin. Peace ye fat-kidney'd Rascall, what a brawling Fal. What Poines. Hal? Fal. I am accurst to rob in that Theefe company: thatRascall hath remoued my Horse, and tied him I know notwhere. If I trauell but foure foot by the squire further afoote, I shall breake my winde. Well, I doubt not butto dye a faire death for all this, if I scape hanging for killingthat Rogue, I haue forsworne his company hourelyany time this two and twenty yeare, & yet I am bewitchtwith the Rogues company. If the Rascall haue not giuenme medicines to make me loue him, Ile be hang'd; it couldnot be else: I haue drunke Medicines. Poines, Hal, aPlague vpon you both. Bardolph, Peto: Ile starue ere Irob a foote further. And 'twere not as good a deede as todrinke, to turne True-man, and to leaue these Rogues, Iam the veriest Varlet that euer chewed with a Tooth.Eight yards of vneuen ground, is threescore & ten milesafoot with me: and the stony-hearted Villaines knowe itwell enough. A plague vpon't, when Theeues cannot betrue one to another. They Whistle. Whew: a plague light vpon you all. Giue my Horse you Prin. Peace ye fat guttes, lye downe, lay thine eareclose to the ground, and list if thou can heare the tread ofTrauellers Fal. Haue you any Leauers to lift me vp again beingdowne? Ile not beare mine owne flesh so far afoot again,for all the coine in thy Fathers Exchequer. What a plaguemeane ye to colt me thus? Prin. Thou ly'st, thou art not colted, thou art vncolted Fal. I prethee good Prince Hal, help me to my horse, Prin. Out you Rogue, shall I be your Ostler? Gad. Stand Fal. So I do against my will Poin. O 'tis our Setter, I know his voyce:Bardolfe, what newes? Bar. Case ye, case ye; on with your Vizards, there'smony of the Kings comming downe the hill, 'tis goingto the Kings Exchequer Fal. You lie you rogue, 'tis going to the Kings Tauern Gad. There's enough to make vs all Fal. To be hang'd Prin. You foure shall front them in the narrow Lane:Ned and I, will walke lower; if they scape from your encounter,then they light on vs Peto. But how many be of them? Fal. Will they not rob vs? Prin. Wee'l leaue that to the proofe Poin. Sirra Iacke, thy horse stands behinde the hedg,when thou need'st him, there thou shalt finde him. Farewell,and stand fast Fal. Now cannot I strike him, if I should be hang'd Prin. Ned, where are our disguises? Fal. Now my Masters, happy man be his dole, say I:euery man to his businesse.Enter Trauellers Tra. Come Neighbor: the boy shall leade our Horsesdowne the hill: Wee'l walke a-foot a while, and ease ourLegges Theeues. Stay Tra. Iesu blesse vs Fal. Strike down with them, cut the villains throats;a whorson Caterpillars: Bacon-fed Knaues, they hate vsyouth; downe with them, fleece them Tra. O, we are vndone, both we and ours for euer Fal. Hang ye gorbellied knaues, are you vndone? Noye Fat Chuffes, I would your store were heere. On Bacons,on, what ye knaues? Yong men must liue, you areGrand Iurers, are ye? Wee'l iure ye ifaith. Heere they rob them, and binde them. Enter the Prince and Poines. Prin. The Theeues haue bound the True-men: Nowcould thou and I rob the Theeues, and go merily to London,it would be argument for a Weeke, Laughter for aMoneth, and a good iest for euer Poynes. Stand close, I heare them comming. Fal. Come my Masters, let vs share, and then to horssebefore day: and the Prince and Poynes bee not two arrandCowards, there's no equity stirring. There's no moevalour in that Poynes, than in a wilde Ducke Prin. Your money Poin. Villaines. As they are sharing, the Prince and Poynes set vpon them. They allrunaway, leauing the booty behind them. Prince. Got with much ease. Now merrily to Horse:The Theeues are scattred, and possest with fear so strongly,that they dare not meet each other: each takes his fellowfor an Officer. Away good Ned, Falstaffe sweates todeath, and Lards the leane earth as he walkes along: wer'tnot for laughing, I should pitty him Poin. How the Rogue roar'd. Exeunt. Scoena Tertia. Enter Hotspurre solus, reading a Letter. But for mine owne part, my Lord. I could bee well contented tobe there, in respect of the loue I beare your house.He could be contented: Why is he not then? in respect ofthe loue he beares our house. He shewes in this, he loueshis owne Barne better then he loues our house. Let mesee some more. The purpose you vndertake is dangerous.Why that's certaine: 'Tis dangerous to take a Colde, tosleepe, to drinke: but I tell you (my Lord foole) out ofthis Nettle, Danger; we plucke this Flower, Safety. Thepurpose you vndertake is dangerous, the Friends you haue namedvncertaine, the Time it selfe vnsorted, and your wholePlot too light, for the counterpoize of so great an Opposition.Say you so, say you so: I say vnto you againe, you are ashallow cowardly Hinde, and you Lye. What a lackebraineis this? I protest, our plot is as good a plot as euerwas laid; our Friend true and constant: A good Plotte,good Friends, and full of expectation: An excellent plot,very good Friends. What a Frosty-spirited rogue is this?Why, my Lord of Yorke commends the plot, and thegenerall course of the action. By this hand, if I were nowby this Rascall, I could braine him with his Ladies Fan.Is there not my Father, my Vncle, and my Selfe, LordEdmund Mortimer, my Lord of Yorke, and Owen Glendour?Is there not besides, the Dowglas? Haue I not all their letters,to meete me in Armes by the ninth of the next Moneth?and are they not some of them set forward already?What a Pagan Rascall is this? An Infidell. Ha, you shallsee now in very sincerity of Feare and Cold heart, will heto the King, and lay open all our proceedings. O, I coulddiuide my selfe, and go to buffets, for mouing such a dishof skim'd Milk with so honourable an Action. Hang him,let him tell the King we are prepared. I will set forwardsto night.Enter his Lady. How now Kate, I must leaue you within these two hours La. O my good Lord, why are you thus alone? Hot. What ho; Is Gilliams with the Packet gone? Hot. Hath Butler brought those horses fro[m] the Sheriffe? Hot. What Horse? A Roane, a crop eare, is it not Ser. It is my Lord Hot. That Roane shall be my Throne. Well, I willbacke him straight. Esperance, bid Butler lead him forthinto the Parke La. But heare you, my lord Hot. What say'st thou my Lady? La. Out you mad-headed Ape, a Weazell hath notsuch a deale of Spleene, as you are tost with. In sooth Ileknow your businesse Harry, that I will. I feare my BrotherMortimer doth stirre about his Title, and hath sentfor you to line his enterprize. But if you go- Hot. So farre a foot, I shall be weary, Loue La. Come, come, you Paraquito, answer me directlyvnto this question, that I shall aske. Indeede Ile breakethy little finger Harry, if thou wilt not tel me true Hot. Away, away you trifler: Loue, I loue thee not, Hot. Come, wilt thou see me ride? La. How so farre? Exeunt. Scena Quarta. Enter Prince and Poines. Prin. Ned, prethee come out of that fat roome, & lendme thy hand to laugh a little Poines. Where hast bene Hall? Prin. With three or foure Logger-heads, amongst 3.or fourescore Hogsheads. I haue sounded the verie basestring of humility. Sirra, I am sworn brother to a leash ofDrawers, and can call them by their names, as Tom, Dicke,and Francis. They take it already vpon their confidence,that though I be but Prince of Wales, yet I am the Kingof Curtesie: telling me flatly I am no proud Iack like Falstaffe,but a Corinthian, a lad of mettle, a good boy, andwhen I am King of England, I shall command al the goodLaddes in East-cheape. They call drinking deepe, dyingScarlet; and when you breath in your watering, thenthey cry hem, and bid you play it off. To conclude, I amso good a proficient in one quarter of an houre, that I candrinke with any Tinker in his owne Language during mylife. I tell thee Ned, thou hast lost much honor, that thouwer't not with me in this action: but sweet Ned, to sweetenwhich name of Ned, I giue thee this peniworth of Sugar,clapt euen now into my hand by an vnder Skinker,one that neuer spake other English in his life, then Eightshillings and six pence, and, You are welcome: with this shriladdition, Anon, Anon sir, Score a Pint of Bastard in theHalfe Moone, or so. But Ned, to driue away time till Falstaffecome, I prythee doe thou stand in some by-roome,while I question my puny Drawer, to what end hee gaueme the Sugar, and do neuer leaue calling Francis, that hisTale to me may be nothing but, Anon: step aside, and Ileshew thee a President Poines. Francis Prin. Thou art perfect Poin. Francis. Fran. Anon, anon sir; looke downe into the Pomgarnet, Prince. Come hither Francis Fran. My Lord Prin. How long hast thou to serue, Francis? Fran. Anon, anon sir Prin. Fiue yeares: Berlady a long Lease for the clinkingof Pewter. But Francis, darest thou be so valiant, asto play the coward with thy Indenture, & show it a fairepaire of heeles, and run from it? Fran. O Lord sir, Ile be sworne vpon all the Books inEngland, I could finde in my heart Poin. Francis Fran. Anon, anon sir Prin. How old art thou, Francis? Fran. Anon sir, pray you stay a little, my Lord Prin. Nay but harke you Francis, for the Sugar thou Prin. I will giue thee for it a thousand pound: Aske Poin. Francis Fran. Anon, anon Prin. Anon Francis? No Francis, but to morrow Francis:or Francis, on thursday: or indeed Francis when thouwilt. But Francis Fran. My Lord Prin. Wilt thou rob this Leatherne Ierkin, Christallbutton, Not-pated, Agat ring, Puke stocking, Caddicegarter, Smooth tongue, Spanish pouch Fran. O Lord sir, who do you meane? Fran. What sir? Prin. Away you Rogue, dost thou heare them call? Heere they both call him, the Drawer stands amazed, not knowingwhich wayto go. Enter Vintner. Vint. What, stand'st thou still, and hear'st such a calling? Poin. Anon, anon sir Prin. Sirra, Falstaffe and the rest of the Theeues, are atthe doore, shall we be merry? Poin. As merrie as Crickets my Lad. But harke yee,What cunning match haue you made this iest of theDrawer? Come, what's the issue? Prin. I am now of all humors, that haue shewed themselueshumors, since the old dayes of goodman Adam, tothe pupill age of this present twelue a clock at midnight.What's a clocke Francis? Fran. Anon, anon sir Prin. That euer this Fellow should haue fewer wordsthen a Parret, and yet the sonne of a Woman. His industryis vp-staires and down-staires, his eloquence the parcellof a reckoning. I am not yet of Percies mind, the Hotspurreof the North, he that killes me some sixe or seauendozen of Scots at a Breakfast, washes his hands, and saiesto his wife; Fie vpon this quiet life, I want worke. O mysweet Harry sayes she, how many hast thou kill'd to day?Giue my Roane horse a drench (sayes hee) and answeres,some fourteene, an houre after: a trifle, a trifle. I pretheecall in Falstaffe, Ile play Percy, and that damn'd Brawneshall play Dame Mortimer his wife. Riuo, sayes the drunkard.Call in Ribs, call in Tallow.Enter Falstaffe. Poin. Welcome Iacke, where hast thou beene? Fal. A plague of all Cowards I say, and a Vengeancetoo, marry and Amen. Giue me a cup of Sacke Boy. EreI leade this life long, Ile sowe nether stockes, and mendthem too. A plague of all cowards. Giue me a Cup ofSacke, Rogue. Is there no Vertue extant? Prin. Didst thou neuer see Titan kisse a dish of Butter,pittifull hearted Titan that melted at the sweete Tale ofthe Sunne? If thou didst, then behold that compound Fal. You Rogue, heere's Lime in this Sacke too: thereis nothing but Roguery to be found in Villanous man; yeta Coward is worse then a Cup of Sack with lime. A villanousCoward, go thy wayes old Iacke, die when thouwilt, if manhood, good manhood be not forgot vpon theface of the earth, then am I a shotten Herring: there liuesnot three good men vnhang'd in England, & one of themis fat, and growes old, God helpe the while, a bad world Isay. I would I were a Weauer, I could sing all manner ofsongs. A plague of all Cowards, I say still Prin. How now Woolsacke, what mutter you? Fal. I call thee Coward? Ile see thee damn'd ere I callthe Coward: but I would giue a thousand pound I couldrun as fast as thou canst. You are straight enough in theshoulders, you care not who sees your backe: Call youthat backing of your friends? a plague vpon such backing:giue me them that will face me. Giue me a Cupof Sack, I am a Rogue if I drunke to day Prin. O Villaine, thy Lippes are scarce wip'd, sincethou drunk'st last Falst. All's one for that. He drinkes. A plague of all Cowards still, say I Prince. What's the matter? Prince. Where is it, Iack? where is it? Prince. What, a hundred, man? Falst. I am a Rogue, if I were not at halfe Sword witha dozen of them two houres together. I haue scaped bymiracle. I am eight times thrust through the Doublet,foure through the Hose, my Buckler cut through andthrough, my Sword hackt like a Hand-saw, ecce signum.I neuer dealt better since I was a man: all would not doe.A plague of all Cowards: let them speake; if they speakemore or lesse then truth, they are villaines, and the sonnesof darknesse Prince. Speake sirs, how was it? Falst. Sixteene, at least, my Lord Gad. And bound them Peto. No, no, they were not bound Falst. You Rogue, they were bound, euery man of Gad. As we were sharing, some sixe or seuen fresh men Falst. And vnbound the rest, and then come in the Prince. What, fought yee with them all? Falst. All? I know not what yee call all: but if Ifought not with fiftie of them, I am a bunch of Radish:if there were not two or three and fiftie vpon poore oldeIack, then am I no two-legg'd Creature Poin. Pray Heauen, you haue not murthered some ofthem Falst. Nay, that's past praying for, I haue pepper'dtwo of them: Two I am sure I haue payed, two Roguesin Buckrom Sutes. I tell thee what, Hal, if I tell thee aLye, spit in my face, call me Horse: thou knowest my oldeword: here I lay, and thus I bore my point; foure Roguesin Buckrom let driue at me Prince. What, foure? thou sayd'st but two, euen now Falst. Foure Hal, I told thee foure Poin. I, I, he said foure Falst. These foure came all a-front, and mainely thrustat me; I made no more adoe, but tooke all their seuenpoints in my Targuet, thus Prince. Seuen? why there were but foure, euen now Falst. In buckrom Poin. I, foure, in Buckrom Sutes Falst. Seuen, by these Hilts, or I am a Villaine else Prin. Prethee let him alone, we shall haue more anon Falst. Doest thou heare me, Hal? Falst. Doe so, for it is worth the listning too: these Prin. So, two more alreadie Falst. Their Points being broken Poin. Downe fell his Hose Falst. Began to giue me ground: but I followed meclose, came in foot and hand; and with a thought, seuen ofthe eleuen I pay'd Prin. O monstrous! eleuen Buckrom men growneout of two? Falst. But as the Deuill would haue it, three mis-begottenKnaues, in Kendall Greene, came at my Back, andlet driue at me; for it was so darke, Hal, that thou could'stnot see thy Hand Prin. These Lyes are like the Father that begets them,grosse as a Mountaine, open, palpable. Why thou Claybrayn'dGuts, thou Knotty-pated Foole, thou Horson obscenegreasie Tallow Catch Falst. What, art thou mad? art thou mad? is not the Falst. What, vpon compulsion? No: were I at theStrappado, or all the Racks in the World, I would nottell you on compulsion. Giue you a reason on compulsion?If Reasons were as plentie as Black-berries, I wouldgiue no man a Reason vpon compulsion, I Prin. Ile be no longer guiltie of this sinne. This sanguineCoward, this Bed-presser, this Hors-back-breaker,this huge Hill of Flesh Falst. Away you Starueling, you Elfe-skin, you driedNeats tongue, Bulles-pissell, you stocke-fish: O for brethto vtter. What is like thee? You Tailors yard, you sheathyou Bow-case, you vile standing tucke Prin. Well, breath a-while, and then to't againe: andwhen thou hast tyr'd thy selfe in base comparisons, heareme speake but thus Poin. Marke Iacke Prin. We two, saw you foure set on foure and boundthem, and were Masters of their Wealth: mark now howa plaine Tale shall put you downe. Then did we two, seton you foure, and with a word, outfac'd you from yourprize, and haue it: yea, and can shew it you in the House.And Falstaffe, you caried your Guts away as nimbly, withas quicke dexteritie, and roared for mercy, and still ranneand roar'd, as euer I heard Bull-Calfe. What a Slaue artthou, to hacke thy sword as thou hast done, and then sayit was in fight. What trick? what deuice? what startinghole canst thou now find out, to hide thee from this openand apparant shame? Poines. Come, let's heare Iacke: What tricke hastthou now? Fal. I knew ye as well as he that made ye. Why heareye my Masters, was it for me to kill the Heire apparant?Should I turne vpon the true Prince? Why, thou knowestI am as valiant as Hercules: but beware Instinct, the Lionwill not touch the true Prince: Instinct is a great matter.I was a Coward on Instinct: I shall thinke the better ofmy selfe, and thee, during my life: I, for a valiant Lion,and thou for a true Prince. But Lads, I am glad you hauethe Mony. Hostesse, clap to the doores: watch to night,pray to morrow. Gallants, Lads, Boyes, Harts of Gold,all the good Titles of Fellowship come to you. What,shall we be merry? shall we haue a Play extempory Prin. Content, and the argument shall be, thy runingaway Fal. A, no more of that Hall, and thou louest me. Enter Hostesse Host. My Lord, the Prince? Prin. Giue him as much as will make him a Royall Falst. What manner of man is hee? Falst. What doth Grauitie out of his Bed at Midnight? Falst. 'Faith, and Ile send him packing. Prince. Now Sirs: you fought faire; so did youPeto, so did you Bardol: you are Lyons too, you ranneaway vpon instinct: you will not touch the true Prince;no, fie Bard. 'Faith, I ranne when I saw others runne Prin. Tell mee now in earnest, how came FalstaffesSword so hackt? Peto. Why, he hackt it with his Dagger, and said, heewould sweare truth out of England, but hee would makeyou beleeue it was done in fight, and perswaded vs to doethe like Bard. Yea, and to tickle our Noses with Spear-grasse,to make them bleed, and then to beslubber our garmentswith it, and sweare it was the blood of true men. I didthat I did not this seuen yeeres before, I blusht to hearehis monstrous deuices Prin. O Villaine, thou stolest a Cup of Sacke eighteene Bard. Choler, my Lord, if rightly taken Prin. No, if rightly taken, Halter. Heere comes leane Iacke, heere comes bare-bone. Hownow my sweet Creature of Bombast, how long is't agoe,Iacke, since thou saw'st thine owne Knee? Falst. My owne Knee? When I was about thy yeeres(Hal) I was not an Eagles Talent in the Waste, I couldhaue crept into any Aldermans Thumbe-Ring: a plagueof sighing and griefe, it blowes a man vp like a Bladder.There's villanous Newes abroad; heere was Sir IohnBraby from your Father; you must goe to the Court inthe Morning. The same mad fellow of the North, Percy;and hee of Wales, that gaue Amamon the Bastinado,and made Lucifer Cuckold, and swore the Deuill his trueLiege-man vpon the Crosse of a Welch-hooke; what aplague call you him? Poin. O, Glendower Falst. Owen, Owen; the same, and his Sonne in Law Prin. Hee that rides at high speede, and with a Pistoll Falst. You haue hit it Prin. So did he neuer the Sparrow Falst. Well, that Rascall hath good mettall in him, Prin. Why, what a Rascall art thou then, to prayse him Prin. Yes Iacke, vpon instinct Falst. I grant ye, vpon instinct: Well, hee is there too,and one Mordake, and a thousand blew-Cappes more.Worcester is stolne away by Night: thy Fathers Beard isturn'd white with the Newes; you may buy Land nowas cheape as stinking Mackrell Prin. Then 'tis like, if there come a hot Sunne, and thisciuill buffetting hold, wee shall buy Maiden-heads asthey buy Hob-nayles, by the Hundreds Falst. By the Masse Lad, thou say'st true, it is like weeshall haue good trading that way. But tell me Hal, artnot thou horrible afear'd? thou being Heire apparant,could the World picke thee out three such Enemyes againe,as that Fiend Dowglas, that Spirit Percy, and thatDeuill Glendower? Art not thou horrible afraid? Dothnot thy blood thrill at it? Prin. Not a whit: I lacke some of thy instinct Falst. Well, thou wilt be horrible chidde to morrow,when thou commest to thy Father: if thou doe loue me,practise an answere Prin. Doe thou stand for my Father, and examine mee Falst. Shall I? content: This Chayre shall bee my Prin. Thy State is taken for a Ioyn'd-Stoole, thy Golden Falst. Well, and the fire of Grace be not quite out ofthee now shalt thou be moued. Giue me a Cup of Sacketo make mine eyes looke redde, that it may be thought Ihaue wept, for I must speake in passion, and I will doe itin King Cambyses vaine Prin. Well, heere is my Legge Falst. And heere is my speech: stand aside Nobilitie Hostesse. This is excellent sport, yfaith Falst. Weepe not, sweet Queene, for trickling teares Hostesse. O the Father, how hee holdes his countenance? Hostesse. O rare, he doth it as like one of these harlotry Falst. Peace good Pint-pot, peace good Tickle-braine.Harry, I doe not onely maruell where thou spendest thytime; but also, how thou art accompanied: For thoughthe Camomile, the more it is troden, the faster it growes;yet Youth, the more it is wasted, the sooner it weares.Thou art my Sonne: I haue partly thy Mothers Word,partly my Opinion; but chiefely, a villanous tricke ofthine Eye, and a foolish hanging of thy nether Lippe, thatdoth warrant me. If then thou be Sonne to mee, heerelyeth the point: why, being Sonne to me, art thou sopoynted at? Shall the blessed Sonne of Heauen proue aMicher, and eate Black-berryes? a question not to beeaskt. Shall the Sonne of England proue a Theefe, andtake Purses? a question to be askt. There is a thing,Harry, which thou hast often heard of, and it is knowne tomany in our Land, by the Name of Pitch: this Pitch (asancient Writers doe report) doth defile; so doth the companiethou keepest: for Harry, now I doe not speake tothee in Drinke, but in Teares; not in Pleasure, but in Passion;not in Words onely, but in Woes also: and yetthere is a vertuous man, whom I haue often noted in thycompanie, but I know not his Name Prin. What manner of man, and it like your Maiestie? Falst. A goodly portly man yfaith, and a corpulent,of a chearefull Looke, a pleasing Eye, and a most nobleCarriage, and as I thinke, his age some fiftie, or (byrlady)inclining to threescore; and now I remember mee, hisName is Falstaffe: if that man should be lewdly giuen,hee deceiues mee; for Harry, I see Vertue in his Lookes.If then the Tree may be knowne by the Fruit, as the Fruitby the Tree, then peremptorily I speake it, there is Vertuein that Falstaffe: him keepe with, the rest banish. Andtell mee now, thou naughtie Varlet, tell mee, where hastthou beene this moneth? Prin. Do'st thou speake like a King? doe thou standfor mee, and Ile play my Father Falst. Depose me: if thou do'st it halfe so grauely, somaiestically, both in word and matter, hang me vp by theheeles for a Rabbet-sucker, or a Poulters Hare Prin. Well, heere I am set Falst. And heere I stand: iudge my Masters Prin. Now Harry, whence come you? Prin. The complaints I heare of thee, are grieuous Falst. Yfaith, my Lord, they are false: Nay, Ile tickleye for a young Prince Prin. Swearest thou, vngracious Boy? henceforthne're looke on me: thou art violently carryed away fromGrace: there is a Deuill haunts thee, in the likenesse of afat old Man; a Tunne of Man is thy Companion: Whydo'st thou conuerse with that Trunke of Humors, thatBoulting-Hutch of Beastlinesse, that swolne Parcell ofDropsies, that huge Bombard of Sacke, that stuft Cloakebaggeof Guts, that rosted Manning Tree Oxe with thePudding in his Belly, that reuerend Vice, that grey iniquitie,that Father Ruffian, that Vanitie in yeeres? whereinis he good, but to taste Sacke, and drinke it? whereinneat and cleanly, but to carue a Capon, and eat it? whereinCunning, but in Craft? wherein Craftie, but in Villanie?wherein Villanous, but in all things? wherein worthy,but in nothing? Falst. I would your Grace would take me with you:whom meanes your Grace? Prince. That villanous abhominable mis-leader ofYouth, Falstaffe, that old white-bearded Sathan Falst. My Lord, the man I know Prince. I know thou do'st Falst. But to say, I know more harme in him then inmy selfe, were to say more then I know. That hee is olde(the more the pittie) his white hayres doe witnesse it:but that hee is (sauing your reuerence) a Whore-master,that I vtterly deny. If Sacke and Sugar bee a fault,Heauen helpe the Wicked: if to be olde and merry, be asinne, then many an olde Hoste that I know, is damn'd:if to be fat, be to be hated, then Pharaohs leane Kine areto be loued. No, my good Lord, banish Peto, banishBardolph, banish Poines: but for sweete Iacke Falstaffe,kinde Iacke Falstaffe, true Iacke Falstaffe, valiant Iacke Falstaffe,and therefore more valiant, being as hee is olde IackFalstaffe, banish not him thy Harryes companie, banishnot him thy Harryes companie; banish plumpe Iacke, andbanish all the World Prince. I doe, I will. Bard. O, my Lord, my Lord, the Sherife, with a most Falst. Out you Rogue, play out the Play: I haue muchto say in the behalfe of that Falstaffe.Enter the Hostesse. Hostesse. O, my Lord, my Lord Falst. Heigh, heigh, the Deuill rides vpon a Fiddlesticke: Prince. And thou a naturall Coward, without instinct Falst. I deny your Maior: if you will deny theSherife, so: if not, let him enter. If I become not a Cartas well as another man, a plague on my bringing vp: Ihope I shall as soone be strangled with a Halter, as another Prince. Goe hide thee behinde the Arras, the restwalke vp aboue. Now my Masters, for a true Face andgood Conscience Falst. Both which I haue had: but their date is out,and therefore Ile hide me.Enter. Prince. Call in the Sherife. Prince. Now Master Sherife, what is your will with Prince. What men? Car. As fat as Butter Prince. The man, I doe assure you, is not heere, She. I will, my Lord: there are two Gentlemen Prince. It may be so: if he haue robb'd these men, She. Good Night, my Noble Lord Prince. I thinke it is good Morrow, is it not? Prince. This oyly Rascall is knowne as well as Poules: Peto. Falstaffe? fast asleepe behinde the Arras, and Prince. Harke, how hard he fetches breath: search his He searcheth his Pockets, and findeth certaine Papers. Prince. What hast thou found? Prince. Let's see, what be they? reade them Peto. Item, a Capon. ii.s.ii.d. Prince. O monstrous, but one halfe penny-worth ofBread to this intollerable deale of Sacke? What there iselse, keepe close, wee'le reade it at more aduantage: therelet him sleepe till day. Ile to the Court in the Morning:Wee must all to the Warres, and thy place shall be honorable.Ile procure this fat Rogue a Charge of Foot,and I know his death will be a Match of Twelue-score.The Money shall be pay'd backe againe with aduantage.Be with me betimes in the Morning: and so good morrowPeto Peto. Good morrow, good my Lord. Exeunt. Actus Tertius. Scena Prima. Enter Hotspurre, Worcester, Lord Mortimer, Owen Glendower. Mort. These promises are faire, the parties sure, Hotsp. Lord Mortimer, and Cousin Glendower, Glend. No, here it is: Hotsp. And you in Hell, as oft as he heares Owen Glendower Glend. I cannot blame him: At my Natiuitie, Hotsp. Why so it would haue done at the same season,if your Mothers Cat had but kitten'd, though your selfehad neuer beene borne Glend. I say the Earth did shake when I was borne Hotsp. And I say the Earth was not of my minde, Glend. The heauens were all on fire, the Earth did Hotsp. Oh, then the Earth shooke Glend. Cousin: of many men Hotsp. I thinke there's no man speakes better Welsh: Mort. Peace cousin Percy, you will make him mad Glend. I can call Spirits from the vastie Deepe Hotsp. Why so can I, or so can any man: Hotsp. And I can teach thee, Cousin, to shame the Deuil, Mort. Come, come, no more of this vnprofitable Glend. Three times hath Henry Bullingbrooke made head Hotsp. Home without Bootes, Glend. A shorter time shall send me to you, Lords: Hotsp. Me thinks my Moity, North from Burton here, Glend. Not winde? it shall, it must, you see it doth Mort. Yea, but marke how he beares his course, Worc. Yea, but a little Charge will trench him here, Hotsp. Ile haue it so, a little Charge will doe it Glend. Ile not haue it alter'd Hotsp. Will not you? Hotsp. Who shall say me nay? Hotsp. let me not vnderstand you then, speake it in Glend. I can speake English, Lord, as well as you: Hotsp. Marry, and I am glad of it with all my heart, Glend. Come, you shall haue Trent turn'd Hotsp. I doe not care: Ile giue thrice so much Land Mort. Fie, Cousin Percy, how you crosse my Father Hotsp. I cannot chuse: sometime he angers me, Mort. In faith he was a worthy Gentleman, Worc. In faith, my Lord, you are too wilfull blame, Hotsp. Well, I am school'd: Mort. This is the deadly spight, that angers me, Glend. My Daughter weepes, shee'le not part with you, Mort. Good Father tell her, that she and my Aunt Percy Glendower speakes to her in Welsh, and she answeres him in thesame. Glend. Shee is desperate heere: The Lady speakes in Welsh. Mort. I vnderstand thy Lookes: that pretty Welsh The Lady againe in welsh. Mort. I vnderstand thy Kisses, and thou mine, Glend. Nay, if thou melt, then will she runne madde. The Lady speakes againe in Welsh. Mort. O, I am Ignorance it selfe in this Glend. She bids you, Mort. With all my heart Ile sit, and heare her sing: Glend. Doe so: Hotsp. Come Kate, thou art perfect in lying downe: Lady. Goe, ye giddy-Goose. The Musicke playes. Hotsp. Now I perceiue the Deuill vnderstands Welsh, Lady. Then would you be nothing but Musicall, Hotsp. I had rather heare (Lady) my Brach howle in Lady. Would'st haue thy Head broken? Lady. Then be still Hotsp. Neyther, 'tis a Womans fault Lady. Now God helpe thee Hotsp. To the Welsh Ladies Bed Lady. What's that? Heere the Lady sings a Welsh Song. Hotsp. Come, Ile haue your Song too Lady. Not mine, in good sooth Hotsp. Not yours, in good sooth? Lady. I will not sing Hotsp. 'Tis the next way to turne Taylor, or be Redbrestteacher: and the Indentures be drawne, Ile awaywithin these two howres: and so come in, when yeewill.Enter. Glend. Come, come, Lord Mortimer, you are as slow, Mort. With all my heart. Exeunt. Scaena Secunda. Enter the King, Prince of Wales, and others. King. Lords, giue vs leaue: Exeunt. Lords. I know not whether Heauen will haue it so, King. Heauen pardon thee: Prince. I shall hereafter, my thrice gracious Lord, King. For all the World, Prince. Doe not thinke so, you shall not finde it so: King. A hundred thousand Rebels dye in this: How now good Blunt? thy Lookes are full of speed Blunt. So hath the Businesse that I come to speake of. King. The earle of Westmerland set forth to day: Exeunt. Scena Tertia. Enter Falstaffe and Bardolph. Falst. Bardolph, am I not falne away vilely, since thislast action? doe I not bate? doe I not dwindle? Whymy skinne hangs about me like an olde Ladies looseGowne: I am withered like an olde Apple Iohn. Well,Ile repent, and that suddenly, while I am in some liking:I shall be out of heart shortly, and then I shall haue nostrength to repent. And i haue not forgotten what thein-side of a Church is made of, I am a Pepper-Corne, aBrewers Horse, the in-side of a Church. Company, villanousCompany hath beene the spoyle of me Bard. Sir Iohn, you are so fretfull, you cannot liuelong Falst. Why there is it: Come, sing me a bawdy Song,make me merry; I was as vertuously giuen, as a Gentlemanneed to be; vertuous enough, swore little, dic'd notaboue seuen times a weeke, went to a Bawdy-house notaboue once in a quarter of an houre, payd Money that Iborrowed, three or foure times; liued well, and in goodcompasse: and now I liue out of all order, out of compasse Bard. Why, you are so fat, Sir Iohn, that you mustneedes bee out of of all compasse; out all reasonablecompasse, Sir Iohn Falst. Doe thou amend thy Face, and Ile amend thy Bard. Why, Sir Iohn, my Face does you no harme Falst. No, Ile be sworne: I make as good vse of it, asmany a man doth of a Deaths-Head, or a Memento Mori.I neuer see thy Face, but I thinke vpon Hell fire, and Diuesthat liued in Purple; for there he is in his Robes burning,burning. If thou wert any way giuen to vertue, I wouldsweare by thy Face; my Oath should bee, By this Fire:But thou art altogether giuen ouer; and wert indeede,but for the Light in thy Face, the Sunne of vtter Darkenesse.When thou ran'st vp Gads-Hill in the Night, tocatch my Horse, if I did not thinke that thou hadst beenean Ignis fatuus, or a Ball of Wild-fire, there's no Purchasein Money. O, thou art a perpetuall Triumph, an euerlastingBone-fire-Light: thou hast saued me a thousandMarkes in Linkes and Torches, walking with thee in theNight betwixt Tauerne and Tauerne: But the Sack thatthou hast drunke me, would haue bought me Lights asgood cheape, as the dearest Chandlers in Europe. I hauemaintain'd that Salamander of yours with fire, any timethis two and thirtie yeeres, Heauen reward me for it Bard. I would my Face were in your Belly Falst. So should I be sure to be heart-burn'd. How now, Dame Partlet the Hen, haue you enquir'd yetwho pick'd my Pocket? Hostesse. Why Sir Iohn, what doe you thinke, Sir Iohn?doe you thinke I keepe Theeues in my House? I hauesearch'd, I haue enquired, so haz my Husband, Man byMan, Boy by Boy, Seruant by Seruant: the tight of ahayre was neuer lost in my house before Falst. Ye lye Hostesse: Bardolph was shau'd, and lostmany a hayre; and Ile be sworne my Pocket was pick'd:goe to, you are a Woman, goe Hostesse. Who I? I defie thee: I was neuer call'd soin mine owne house before Falst. Goe to, I know you well enough Hostesse. No, sir Iohn, you doe not know me, Sir Iohn:I know you, Sir Iohn: you owe me Money, Sir Iohn, andnow you picke a quarrell, to beguile me of it: I boughtyou a dozen of Shirts to your Backe Falst. Doulas, filthy Doulas: I haue giuen themaway to Bakers Wiues, and they haue made Boulters ofthem Hostesse. Now as I am a true Woman, Holland of eightshillings an Ell: You owe Money here besides, Sir Iohn,for your Dyet, and by-Drinkings, and Money lent you,foure and twentie pounds Falst. Hee had his part of it, let him pay Hostesse. Hee? alas hee is poore, hee hath nothing Falst. How? Poore? Looke vpon his Face: What callyou Rich? Let them coyne his Nose, let them coyne hisCheekes, Ile not pay a Denier. What, will you make aYounker of me? Shall I not take mine ease in mine Inne,but I shall haue my Pocket pick'd? I haue lost a Seale-Ringof my Grand-fathers, worth fortie marke Hostesse. I haue heard the Prince tell him, I know not Falst. How? the Prince is a Iacke, a Sneake-Cuppe: Falst. How now Lad? is the Winde in that Doore? Hostesse. My Lord, I pray you heare me Prince. What say'st thou, Mistresse Quickly? Howdoes thy Husband? I loue him well, hee is an honestman Hostesse. Good, my Lord, heare mee Falst. Prethee let her alone, and list to mee Prince. What say'st thou, Iacke? Prince. What didst thou lose, Iacke? Prince. A Trifle, some eight-penny matter Host. So I told him, my Lord; and I said, I heard yourGrace say so: and (my Lord) hee speakes most vilely ofyou, like a foule-mouth'd man as hee is, and said, heewould cudgell you Prince. What hee did not? Falst. There's no more faith in thee then a stu'de Prune;nor no more truth in thee, then in a drawne Fox: and forWooman-hood, Maid-marian may be the Deputies wifeof the Ward to thee. Go you nothing: go Host. Say, what thing? what thing? Host. I am no thing to thanke heauen on, I wold thoushouldst know it: I am an honest mans wife: and settingthy Knighthood aside, thou art a knaue to call me so Falst. Setting thy woman-hood aside, thou art a beast Host. Say, what beast, thou knaue thou? Prin. An Otter, sir Iohn? Why an Otter? Host. Thou art vniust man in saying so; thou, or anie Prince. Thou say'st true Hostesse, and he slanders thee Host. So he doth you, my Lord, and sayde this other Prince. Sirrah, do I owe you a thousand pound? Host. Nay my Lord, he call'd you Iacke, and said hee Fal. Did I, Bardolph? Fal. Yea, if he said my Ring was Copper Prince. I say 'tis Copper. Dar'st thou bee as good asthy word now? Fal. Why Hal? thou know'st, as thou art but a man, Idare: but, as thou art a Prince, I feare thee, as I feare theroaring of the Lyons Whelpe Prince. And why not as the Lyon? Prin. O, if it should, how would thy guttes fall aboutthy knees. But sirra: There's no roome for Faith, Truth,nor Honesty, in this bosome of thine: it is all fill'd vppewith Guttes and Midriffe. Charge an honest Womanwith picking thy pocket? Why thou horson impudentimbost Rascall, if there were any thing in thy Pocket butTauerne Recknings, Memorandums of Bawdie-houses,and one poore peny-worth of Sugar-candie to make theelong-winded: if thy pocket were enrich'd with anie otheriniuries but these, I am a Villaine: And yet you willstand to it, you will not Pocket vp wrong. Art thou notasham'd? Fal. Do'st thou heare Hal? Thou know'st in the stateof Innocency, Adam fell: and what should poore IackeFalstaffe do, in the dayes of Villany? Thou seest, I hauemore flesh then another man, and therefore more frailty.You confesse then you pickt my Pocket? Prin. It appeares so by the Story Fal. Hostesse, I forgiue thee: Exit Hostesse. Now Hal, to the newes at Court for the Robbery, Lad? Fal. O, I do not like that paying backe, 'tis a double Prin. I am good Friends with my Father, and may do Fal. Rob me the Exchequer the first thing thou do'st, Bard. Do my Lord Prin. I haue procured thee Iacke, A Charge of Foot Fal. I would it had beene of Horse. Where shal I findeone that can steale well? O, for a fine theefe of two andtwentie, or thereabout: I am heynously vnprouided. WelGod be thanked for these Rebels, they offend none butthe Vertuous. I laud them, I praise them Prin. Bardolph Bar. My Lord Prin. Go beare this Letter to Lord Iohn of Lancaster Fal. Rare words! braue world. Exeunt. omnes. Actus Quartus. Scoena Prima. Enter Harrie Hotspurre, Worcester, and Dowglas. Hot. Well said, my Noble Scot, if speaking truth Dow. Thou art the King of Honor: Hot. Do so, and 'tis well. What letters hast there? Mess. These Letters come from your Father Hot. Letters from him? Hot. How? haz he the leysure to be sicke now, Wor. I prethee tell me, doth he keepe his Bed? Wor. I would the state of time had first beene whole, Hotsp. Sicke now? droope now? this sicknes doth infect Hotsp. A perillous Gash, a very Limme lopt off: Dowg. Faith, and so wee should, Hotsp. A Randeuous, a Home to flye vnto, Wor. But yet I would your Father had beene here: Hotsp. You strayne too farre. Dowg. As heart can thinke: Hotsp. My Cousin Vernon, welcome by my Soule Vern. Pray God my newes be worth a welcome, Lord. Hotsp. No harme: what more? Hotsp. He shall be welcome too. Hotsp. No more, no more, Ver. There is more newes: Dowg. That's the worst Tidings that I heare of Wor. I by my faith, that beares a frosty sound Hotsp. What may the Kings whole Battaile reach Hot. Forty let it be, Dow. Talke not of dying, I am out of feare Exeunt. Omnes. Scaena Secunda. Enter Falstaffe and Bardolph. Falst. Bardolph, get thee before to Couentry, fill me aBottle of Sack, our Souldiers shall march through: wee'leto Sutton-cop-hill to Night Bard. Will you giue me Money, Captaine? Bard. This Bottle makes an Angell Falst. And if it doe, take it for thy labour: and if itmake twentie, take them all, Ile answere the Coynage.Bid my Lieutenant Peto meete me at the Townes end Bard. I will Captaine: farewell. Falst. If I be not asham'd of my Souldiers, I am asowc't-Gurnet: I haue mis-vs'd the Kings Presse damnably.I haue got, in exchange of a hundred and fiftieSouldiers, three hundred and odde Pounds. I presse menone but good House-holders, Yeomens Sonnes: enquireme out contracted Batchelers, such as had beene ask'dtwice on the Banes: such a Commoditie of warme slaues,as had as lieue heare the Deuill, as a Drumme; such asfeare the report of a Caliuer, worse then a struck-Foole,or a hurt wilde-Ducke. I prest me none but such Tostesand Butter, with Hearts in their Bellyes no bigger thenPinnes heads, and they haue bought out their seruices:And now, my whole Charge consists of Ancients, Corporals,Lieutenants, Gentlemen of Companies, Slaues asragged a Lazarus in the painted Cloth, where the GluttonsDogges licked his Sores; and such, as indeed wereneuer Souldiers, but dis-carded vniust Seruingmen, youngerSonnes to younger Brothers, reuolted Tapsters andOstlers, Trade-falne, the Cankers of a calme World, andlong Peace, tenne times more dis-honorable ragged,then an old-fac'd Ancient; and such haue I to fill vp theroomes of them that haue bought out their seruices: thatyou would thinke, that I had a hundred and fiftie totter'dProdigalls, lately come from Swine-keeping, from eatingDraffe and Huskes. A mad fellow met me on the way,and told me, I had vnloaded all the Gibbets, and prest thedead bodyes. No eye hath seene such skar-Crowes: Ilenot march through Couentry with them, that's flat. Nay,and the Villaines march wide betwixt the Legges, as ifthey had Gyues on; for indeede, I had the most of themout of Prison. There's not a Shirt and a halfe in all myCompany: and the halfe Shirt is two Napkins tackt together,and throwne ouer the shoulders like a HeraldsCoat, without sleeues: and the Shirt, to say the truth,stolne from my Host of S[aint]. Albones, or the Red-NoseInne-keeper of Dauintry. But that's all one, they'le findeLinnen enough on euery Hedge.Enter the Prince, and the Lord of Westmerland. Prince. How now blowne Iack? how now Quilt? Falst. What Hal? How now mad Wag, what a Deuilldo'st thou in Warwickshire? My good Lord of Westmerland,I cry you mercy, I thought your Honour had alreadybeene at Shrewsbury West. 'Faith, Sir Iohn, 'tis more then time that I werethere, and you too: but my Powers are there alreadie.The King, I can tell you, lookes for vs all: we must awayall to Night Falst. Tut, neuer feare me, I am as vigilant as a Cat, to Prince. I thinke to steale Creame indeed, for thy theft Prince. I did neuer see such pittifull Rascals Falst. Tut, tut, good enough to tosse: foode for Powder,foode for Powder: they'le fill a Pit, as well as better:tush man, mortall men, mortall men Westm. I, but Sir Iohn, me thinkes they are exceedingpoore and bare, too beggarly Falst. Faith, for their pouertie, I know not where theyhad that; and for their barenesse, I am sure they neuerlearn'd that of me Prince. No, Ile be sworne, vnlesse you call three fingerson the Ribbes bare. But sirra, make haste, Percy is alreadyin the field Falst. What, is the King encamp'd? Falst. Well, to the latter end of a Fray, and the beginning Exeunt. Scoena Tertia. Enter Hotspur, Worcester, Dowglas, and Vernon. Hotsp. Wee'le fight with him to Night Worc. It may not be Dowg. You giue him then aduantage Vern. Not a whit Hotsp. Why say you so? lookes he not for supply? Hotsp. His is certaine, ours is doubtfull Worc. Good Cousin be aduis'd, stirre not to night Vern. Doe not, my Lord Dowg. You doe not counsaile well: Vern. Doe me no slander, Dowglas: by my Life, Dowg. Yea, or to night Vern. Content Hotsp. To night, say I Vern. Come, come, it may not be. Hotsp. So are the Horses of the Enemie Worc. The number of the King exceedeth ours: The Trumpet sounds a Parley. Enter Sir Walter Blunt. Blunt. I come with gracious offers from the King, Hotsp. Welcome, Sir Walter Blunt: Some of vs loue you well: and euen those some Blunt. And Heauen defend, but still I should stand so, Hotsp. The King is kinde: Blunt. Tut, I came not to hear this Hotsp. Then to the point. Blunt. Shall I returne this answer to the King? Blunt. I would you would accept of Grace and Loue Hotsp. And't may be, so wee shall Blunt. Pray Heauen you doe. Exeunt. Scena Quarta. Enter the Arch-Bishop of Yorke, and Sir Michell. Arch. Hie, good Sir Michell, beare this sealed Briefe Sir Mich. My good Lord, I guesse their tenor Arch. Like enough you doe. Sir Mich. Why, my good Lord, you need not feare, Arch. No, Mortimer is not there Sir Mic. But there is Mordake, Vernon, Lord Harry Percy, Arch. And so there is, but yet the King hath Drawne Sir M. Doubt not my Lord, he shall be well oppos'd Exeunt. Actus Quintus. Scena Prima. Enter the King, Prince of Wales, Lord Iohn of Lancaster, Earle of King. How bloodily the Sunne begins to peere King. Then with the losers let it sympathize, The Trumpet sounds. Enter Worcester. King. How now my Lord of Worster? 'Tis not well King. You haue not sought it: how comes it then? Prin. Peace, Chewet, peace Wor. It pleas'd your Maiesty, to turne your lookes Kin. These things indeed you haue articulated, Prin. In both our Armies, there is many a soule King. And Prince of Wales, so dare we venter thee, Exit Worcester. Prin. It will not be accepted, on my life, King. Hence therefore, euery Leader to his charge, Exeunt. Manet Prince and Falstaffe. Fal. Hal, if thou see me downe in the battell, Prin. Nothing but a Colossus can do thee that frendship Fal. I would it were bed time Hal, and all well Prin. Why, thou ow'st heauen a death Falst. 'Tis not due yet: I would bee loath to pay himbefore his day. What neede I bee so forward with him,that call's not on me? Well, 'tis no matter, Honor prickesme on. But how if Honour pricke me off when I comeon? How then? Can Honour set too a legge? No: or anarme? No: Or take away the greefe of a wound? No.Honour hath no skill in Surgerie, then? No. What is HonourA word. What is that word Honour? Ayre: Atrim reckoning. Who hath it? He that dy'de a Wednesday.Doth he feele it? No. Doth hee heare it? No. Is itinsensible then? yea, to the dead. But wil it not liue withthe liuing? No. Why? Detraction wil not suffer it, therforeIle none of it. Honour is a meere Scutcheon, and soends my Catechisme.Enter. Scena Secunda. Enter Worcester, and Sir Richard Vernon. Wor. O no, my Nephew must not know, Sir Richard, Ver. 'Twere best he did Wor. Then we are all vndone. Ver. Deliuer what you will, Ile say 'tis so. Hot. My Vnkle is return'd, Dow. Defie him by the Lord of Westmerland Dow. Marry and shall, and verie willingly. Exit Dowglas. Wor. There is no seeming mercy in the King Hot. Did you begge any? God forbid Wor. I told him gently of our greeuances, Dow. Arme Gentlemen, to Armes, for I haue thrown Wor. The Prince of Wales stept forth before the king, Hot. O, would the quarrell lay vpon our heads, Mes. My Lord, heere are Letters for you Hot. I cannot reade them now. Mes. My Lord prepare, the King comes on apace Hot. I thanke him, that he cuts me from my tale: They embrace, the trumpets sound, the King entereth with hispower, alarumvnto the battell. Then enter Dowglas, and Sir Walter Blunt. Blu. What is thy name, that in battel thus y crossest me? Blunt. They tell thee true Dow. The Lord of Stafford deere to day hath bought Blu. I was not borne to yeeld, thou haughty Scot, Fight, Blunt is slaine, then enters Hotspur. Hot. O Dowglas, hadst thou fought at Holmedon thus Dow. All's done, all's won, here breathles lies the king Hot. This Dowglas? No, I know this face full well: Dow. Ah foole: go with thy soule whether it goes, Dow. Now by my Sword, I will kill all his Coates, Hot. Vp, and away, Exeunt. Alarum, and enter Falstaffe solus. Fal. Though I could scape shot-free at London, I fearthe shot heere: here's no scoring, but vpon the pate. Softwho are you? Sir Walter Blunt, there's Honour for you:here's no vanity, I am as hot as molten Lead, and as heauytoo; heauen keepe Lead out of mee, I neede no moreweight then mine owne Bowelles. I haue led my rag ofMuffins where they are pepper'd: there's not three of my150. left aliue, and they for the Townes end, to beg duringlife. But who comes heere?Enter the Prince Pri. What, stand'st thou idle here? Lend me thy sword, Prin. He is indeed, and liuing to kill thee: Falst. Nay Hal, is Percy bee aliue, thou getst not my Prin. Giue it me: What, is it in the case? The Prince drawes out a Bottle of Sacke. Prin. What, is it a time to iest and dally now. Enter. Throwes it at him. Fal. If Percy be aliue, Ile pierce him: if he do come inmy way, so: if he do not, if I come in his (willingly) lethim make a Carbonado of me. I like not such grinninghonour as Sir Walter hath: Giue mee life, which if I cansaue, so: if not, honour comes vnlook'd for, and ther's anend. Exit Scena Tertia. Alarum, excursions, enter the King, the Prince, Lord Iohn ofLancaster,and Earle of Westmerland. King. I prethee Harry withdraw thy selfe, thou bleedesttoo much: Lord Iohn of Lancaster, go you with him P.Ioh. Not I, My Lord, vnlesse I did bleed too Prin. I beseech your Maiesty make vp, King. I will do so: West. Come my Lord, Ile leade you to your Tent Prin. Lead me my Lord? I do not need your helpe; Ioh. We breath too long: Come cosin Westmerland, Prin. By heauen thou hast deceiu'd me Lancaster, King. I saw him hold Lord Percy at the point, Prin. O this Boy, lends mettall to vs all. Enter Dowglas. Dow. Another King? They grow like Hydra's heads: Dow. I feare thou art another counterfeit: They fight, the K[ing]. being in danger, Enter Prince. Prin. Hold vp thy head vile Scot, or thou art like They Fight, Dowglas flyeth. Cheerely My Lord: how fare's your Grace? King. Stay, and breath awhile. Prin. O heauen, they did me too much iniury, K. Make vp to Clifton, Ile to Sir Nicholas Gausey. Exit Enter Hotspur. Hot. If I mistake not, thou art Harry Monmouth Prin. Thou speak'st as if I would deny my name Hot. My name is Harrie Percie Prin. Why then I see a very valiant rebel of that name. Hot. Nor shall it Harry, for the houre is come Prin. Ile make it greater, ere I part from thee, Hot. I can no longer brooke thy Vanities. Fight. Enter Falstaffe. Fal. Well said Hal, to it Hal. Nay you shall finde no Hot. Oh Harry, thou hast rob'd me of my youth: Falstaffe riseth vp. Falst. Imbowell'd? If thou imbowell mee to day, Ilegiue you leaue to powder me, and eat me too to morow.'Twas time to counterfet, or that hotte Termagant Scot,had paid me scot and lot too. Counterfeit? I am no counterfeit;to dye, is to be a counterfeit, for hee is but thecounterfeit of a man, who hath not the life of a man: Butto counterfeit dying, when a man thereby liueth, is to beno counterfeit, but the true and perfect image of life indeede.The better part of Valour, is Discretion; in thewhich better part, I haue saued my life. I am affraide ofthis Gun-powder Percy though he be dead. How if heeshould counterfeit too, and rise? I am afraid hee wouldproue the better counterfeit: therefore Ile make him sure:yea, and Ile sweare I kill'd him. Why may not hee rise aswell as I: Nothing confutes me but eyes, and no-bodiesees me. Therefore sirra, with a new wound in your thighcome you along me. Takes Hotspurre on his backe. Enter Prince and Iohn of Lancaster. Prin. Come Brother Iohn, full brauely hast thou flesht Iohn. But soft, who haue we heere? Fal. No, that's certaine: I am not a double man: butif I be not Iacke Falstaffe, then am I a Iacke: There is Percy,if your Father will do me any Honor, so: if not, let himkill the next Percie himselfe. I looke to be either Earle orDuke, I can assure you Prin. Why, Percy I kill'd my selfe, and saw thee dead Fal. Did'st thou? Lord, Lord, how the world is giuento Lying? I graunt you I was downe, and out of breath,and so was he, but we rose both at an instant, and foughta long houre by Shrewsburie clocke. If I may bee beleeued,so: if not, let them that should reward Valour, bearethe sinne vpon their owne heads. Ile take't on my deathI gaue him this wound in the Thigh: if the man were aliue,and would deny it, I would make him eate a peeceof my sword Iohn. This is the strangest Tale that e're I heard Prin. This is the strangest Fellow, Brother Iohn. A Retreat is sounded. The Trumpets sound Retreat, the day is ours: Exeunt. Fal. Ile follow as they say, for Reward. Hee that rewardsme, heauen reward him. If I do grow great again,Ile grow lesse? For Ile purge, and leaue Sacke, and liuecleanly, as a Nobleman should do. Exit Scaena Quarta. The Trumpets sound. Enter the King, Prince of Wales, Lord Iohn of Lancaster, Earle of King. Thus euer did Rebellion finde Rebuke. Wor. What I haue done, my safety vrg'd me to, King. Beare Worcester to death, and Vernon too: Exit Worcester and Vernon. How goes the Field? King. With all my heart Prin. Then Brother Iohn of Lancaster, King. Then this remaines: that we diuide our Power. Exeunt. FINIS. |
